“ Welcome to the Lifestyles of the Rich and famous! Today we peer into the life of the mysterious Caterina Pachemski, the Soviet ballerina, whose escape from the KGB as a little girl. She has for years kept us curious of her whereabouts. Over the last several months we have tracked her down in the bustling center of Toronto. At Spadina and Dundas, Caterina was spotted balancing in deathly high stilettos and congregating with eight others in matching seafoam jackets. Our informants say that she is operating under an alias Big Red, and is one of the most notorious members of a bike gang who call themselves ‘The Deadly Nightshades’. We have been told that besides her remarkable ability to spot people nipples, she is known for her stealthy and precise cutting abilities, which can be confirmed by the life size tattoo of shears across her chest. As we dug deeper, we found that her residence is within a secret garden known as Danger Palace, but the position is still uncertain.”